You only have 24 hours per day, or 1,440 minutes per day of life, no more, no less.
If your life is to be composed into a melody that’s pleasing to you, you can’t avoid the fact that you’ll need to choose and make priorities.
If you spend your time on things that don’t mean much to you, it feels meaningless, and on the other hand – if you spend your time on what means a lot to you, it will feel good.
So, what do you value in your life?
You can’t do everything. Especially not at the same time.
No matter how much you’d like to do everything, it simply isn’t possible. It is in fact counter productive.
It’s best to accept that what you choose to do, or not do, will have consequences, and that it’s important to choose wisely.
All choices come with a cost
All choices come with costs. Even not choosing is, in itself, a choice, and has its own price.
And two things can be true at the same time.
For example:
– If you choose to have children, you won’t have as much time left for your own interests. You love your children, but sometimes it will feel boring and frustrating that you don’t have more time for your hobbies.
– If you choose not to have children, you will have plenty of time for your interests, but no children to share them with. It will be nice to only have yourself to take care of, but sometimes you will miss sharing your interests with someone.
– If you don’t actively choose whether or not to have children, you might later wish you had children. It was nice not having to make a decision and living for the moment, but later you might regret not taking the chance.
– If you choose to buy a bigger apartment, you’ll need a larger income to pay the rent. It’s wonderful to have more space, but it comes at the cost of having a demanding job.
– If you have a job that requires a lot of time, you won’t have as much time left with the people you love. It’s fun to have more influence at work, but it’s frustrating not having enough energy left when you get home in the evening.
So, how do you figure out what you want and which choices are worth their price?
Finding your passion?
In recent years, there’s been a lot of talk about finding your passion. The basic idea here is that if you find your passion in life and follow it, you will feel happiness and meaning in life.
But by just by looking around me, I’ve seen that many people seem to really like their lives and feel highly motivated at work without it being their passion.
Finding your passion seems to be a difficult and illusive road toward composing a good life.
Plus, passion is oftentimes something that comes after having invested time and energy into something, not before you invest the time and energy.
Values are a good place to start
A better way of knowing what’s important to you is to understand your values.
There are simple methods you can use to pinpoint what values you have, and anyone can succeed.
Values are consistent over time but can also change as you change.
Understanding what you truly value and putting it into words is important.
Your values are like your compass in life. They serve as a foundation beneath everything else in and guide you toward what’s most meaningful to you.
Stephen Heyes, the founder of Acceptance and Commitment Theory, describes values as “desired life outcomes.” Your values are what you hope to experience, create, and strive for in your life.
When you know and clearly have formulated what’s most important to you, it will help you understand how to compose your life.
For example, if you value being outdoors in the forest but spend most of your time working indoors, you’re likely to feel a sense of dissatisfaction. Without knowing your values, however, it would be hard to pinpoint what’s bothering you.
How to find your values?
There are many good and simple tools out there that you can use to pinpoint what your values are.
I have tried quite a few of them and the best and easiest one I have found is the “Values Wheel” by The New Happy. It is based on the research by Shalom Schwartz.
The Values Wheel is free and you can get it here.
Once you have figured out what is most important to you, make sure to write down your values in you phone so that you always have them with you.
When look at them and remind yourself from time to time can make it easier to navigate your day-to-day life and make large decisions that feel truly good – to you.
