Welcome to Today.Society. This is my personal blog about the trickiness that life offers us. It’s about all the things I wish I would have know sooner.
Are you telling yourself “It will get better soon” but it never does?´
Do you have areas in your life where you want to do more but you end up feeling like there is never enough time or energy to spare?
Are you worried about the future and feeling guilty for not doing more to protect it for our children?
I was, too.
I am Christin, and in 2017, I had a high-paying, high-profile job that involved a lot of travel. At the time, I was exactly where I wanted to be in my career—leading a department, managing major accounts, earning recognition and status for my work. I was surrounded by great colleagues, the job was challenging, fulfilling, and I enjoyed it but I worked hard and spent my evenings thinking about work.
At the time, my children were seven and five.
My husband, Daniel, and I were constantly optimizing—trying to fit everything in. Work, kids, housework, cooking, after-school activities, friends, family, and our own hobbies.
Week after week, we made it all work. The puzzle pieces always fit.
My life looked great on paper but it didn’t feel good to me.
Because I wasn’t enjoying the time I spent with my family.
Whenever I had a break, all I wanted was to be alone—to carve out just a little time and space for myself. It wasn’t their fault.
I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to truly appreciate the people around me, my family.
One Sunday evening, I turned to Daniel and said:
“If I continue like this, I know I will regret it.”
And that was it.
You can’t unring a bell.
I was tired. I had been squeezing too much living into my life for a very long time, which made me feel like I was bursting at the seams.
I was reaching my BIG goals but had forgotten what I really wanted.
I spent all of my time preparing to be in the best position possible when the next imaginary possibility would come along – the next job, the next running race, the next dinner with friends.
I had lost my navigation system, my curiosity and my natural drive.
There were serious gaps in my education when it came to building a good life.
At this point, I realized I had to make some major changes.
I started to talk to my friends, read and listen to podcasts but it just made me even more confused.
The messages I got were SOOO contradictory.
We must listen to our feelings in order to navigate life BUT at the same time, we shouldn’t let our feelings control our lives. Feelings come and go. Let them just pass by.
So, should we listen to our feelings or not?
To live well, we need the ability to act wisely in the moment. We need to be present and experience life as it happens around us. If we only live for the future, we miss what’s happening right now. BUT we must have direction and plans for the future. Set big goals and believe in yourself. Do hard things. Go for it!
So, should we make plans and follow them? Or should we focus on the present moment? Or both? But how?
You need habits that support you. Get up early, get daylight, exercise before work. Focus. Maximize your life. BUT I had already tried that and knew it didn’t work. Maximizing and optimizing didn’t make life feel good, because it didn’t take into account that if you fill life up too much, nothing feels enjoyable.
So, are new habits the right place to start or is there something else that is more important?
The people we love are the most important thing in our lives. BUT you should be able to have it all – a full-time job, earn well, exercise regularly, have close friends, cook homemade meals every day, have a beautiful home and a close relationship with the people you love.
So, should we prioritize time with our loved ones? If we do that we will probably earn less and have less?
I started to look for and collect answers. As if I was trying to put together a manual for myself.
Today. Society is the space where I share what I have discovered. It’s my story.
I am not a psychologist or a neurosurgeon, but I have had the opportunity to pause, reflect, and explore. To test, change, choose, fail, and try again.
When life is unfodling, we don’t have time to bring to mind the latest science on a subject, or recall theories on child psycology.
What we need is access to our inner navigation system, an instinctive understanding of the right thing to do in each moment of each day.
Sometimes it’s good to have some knowledge or guidance or structure that helps us listen to our own inner voice—so we can build the life that we truly want.
The kind of structure that is intuitive and helps us do the right thing in the moment—or, when we fall short, guides us to reflect, take responsibility, and adjust.
This is my own manual on how to live a life that feels good today—so that each today becomes a yesterday we look back on with gratitude and a tomorrow we look forward to with hope.
It’s not rocket science. Most of the time, it’s just logical common sense—things you already know deep down but sometimes need a reminder of.
If you want to live a life you won’t regret, it starts today.
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